Confessions

I secretly write poetry about my husband. We've been married 12 years. He thinks I'm just scrolling Instagram at night. I have 347 poems about him — his laugh, his snoring, the way he makes chai. If he ever finds this notebook, he'll probably cry. The tough guy cries at everything.

I fell in love with a voice. We matched on a random call app and talked for 7 hours straight. No photos, no names, just two strangers pouring their hearts out. We promised to call again the next day. The app crashed. I never found her again. It's been 2 years and I still remember every word she said.

हम दोनों एक ही ट्रेन पकड़ते हैं रोज़ सुबह 8:15 की। वो हमेशा window seat पर बैठती है और किताब पढ़ती है। मैं उसके सामने वाली seat लेता हूँ। ना उसका नाम पता है, ना कहाँ जाती है — बस 40 मिनट की ये journey मेरे दिन की सबसे खूबसूरत चीज़ है। क्या ये प्यार है?

I write love letters to someone who doesn't exist yet. Every week I write one, put it in an envelope, and keep it in a box. Someday when I find the right person, I'll give them all these letters. 47 letters so far. Is this romantic or am I losing it?

मेरी best friend को नहीं पता कि जब वो अपने breakup के बाद मेरे कंधे पर रोती है, तो मेरा दिल दो वजहों से टूटता है — एक, क्योंकि वो दुखी है। दो, क्योंकि मैं उससे प्यार करता हूँ और कभी बता नहीं पाऊँगा।

10 saal pehle ek ladki ne mujhe ek book gift ki thi — 'The Kite Runner.' Uske andar likha tha 'For someone who deserves a happy ending.' Hum kabhi couple nahi the, but aaj bhi woh book meri bedside table pe hai. Har naye ghar mein sabse pehle wahi book rakhta hoon.

I have a crush on the girl who makes my coffee at the office cafeteria. She always draws a smiley on my cup. Last week she wrote 'have a good day, Rahul.' SHE KNOWS MY NAME. I've been floating since then. Should I ask her out or will I lose my daily smiley?

She asked me 'do you like me?' and I said 'you're a good friend.' That was 6 years ago. I still think about that moment at 2am. I liked her. I was just too scared. She's married now. Happy, I hope. But man, that one sentence I didn't say... it haunts me.

I've been in love with my best friend for 3 years. We talk every single day, share everything, but she sees me as a brother. Every time she tells me about some guy she likes, it breaks me a little more. I smile and give her advice, but inside I'm dying. I don't want to ruin the friendship, so I'll probably never tell her.

मेरी arranged marriage है 2 महीने बाद। लड़का अच्छा है, पढ़ा-लिखा है, सब कुछ ठीक है। लेकिन मेरा दिल अभी भी उस इंसान में अटका है जो 5 साल पहले चला गया था बिना कुछ कहे। शादी से पहले एक बार बस उससे मिलना चाहती हूँ — closure चाहिए, प्यार नहीं।

मैंने उसे कभी नहीं बताया कि मैं उससे प्यार करता हूँ। हर रोज़ उसकी Instagram story देखता हूँ, लेकिन कभी reply नहीं करता। अब वो किसी और के साथ है, और मुझे लगता है कि अगर मैंने बोल दिया होता तो शायद ज़िन्दगी अलग होती। कभी-कभी सोचता हूँ कि unspoken love सबसे ज़्यादा दर्द देती है।

Meri arranged marriage fix ho gayi hai. Ladka sab taraf se perfect hai. Par kal raat sapne mein college wala crush aaya. Utha ke socha — kya yeh sign hai? Ya sirf subconscious drama? Ab bol do — sapne pe trust karun ya rishte pe?

College ke last day, usne mujhe ek letter diya tha. Maine kabhi khola nahi kyunki mujhe dar tha ki kuch aisa likh ho jo mujhe aur miss kara de. 4 saal ho gaye, letter aaj bhi mere drawer mein hai. Kabhi-kabhi lagta hai kholna chahiye, kabhi lagta hai rehne do — kuch cheezein mystery hi rehni chahiye.